Our Dog called Pizza, and the Dragon
Old friends meet up after many years and unwittingly embark on another new adventure.
Tommy, Gideon, Ron (that’s me) and the dog Pizza, who had recently been bewitched with the smell of pizza, find themselves entering an enormous cave owned by a fearsome Dragon.
After the Dragon, whom they awoke discovers they are not the pizza delivery it expected; it decides to eat them instead.
They flee from the Dragon, but the monster is gaining on them so Pizza with great bravery holds the Dragon up in his tracks giving them time to escape.
This short story starts badly and ends weakly. There is some confusion about what tense the writer is using - past or present. Persevering we find an unremarkable tale of two men and a boy taking a dog for a walk. Suddenly they discover a dragon that is woken by the pizza-like smell of their dog. Which is more remarkable I don’t know: the pizza-smelling dog or the dragon in a cave near a posh housing estate. Coincidentally the dragon is waiting for his pizza delivery. Was this written by any chance after eating some very old pizza whose congealed cheese produced bizarre hallucinations? And the moral of the story is? Plucky little dogs can fend off big nasty dragons? If you find a cave with a dragon do not enter unless armed with a pizza?
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Comments
Loved it for the wrong reasons!
Firstly Ron, can I congratulate you on putting your work out there for others to read. Please don't be offended or disheartened by poor ratings. You obviously have some super stuff running around your imagination, and it is for this that I've given the two stars.
What I liked, perhaps for the wrong reasons, was the hilarious way that the dog just happened to smell of pizza (probably a witch) and the dragon (who had managed to stay hidden up till now presumably) popped up and started speaking in a very 1950s Eton Schoolboy tone, expecting his pizza delivery... I'm assuming as he'd ordered this that he must be able to use a phone and erase the memory of the pizza delivery staff afterwards...? Brilliantly bad (drug-induced?) plot. Which entertained me. Unfortunately the rest of the world usually demand a little more credibility.
You have a way to go when it comes to structure, grammar, generally putting the ideas together in a way that would make them into a good read. Keep up the writing and use sites like this to get good critical advice, and maybe seek someone who will help you to learn to get the ideas from brain to paper more fluently as it would be a shame to waste them!